The Walls Have Ears

Note: This article was written in 2003
yet its sentiments still apply today
I felt a tug at my arm -- the third such tug in less than five minutes. Once again my 7-year-old was vying for my attention.

“What is it?” I asked with more frost than I intended. I was getting a little bit annoyed. Every time I tried to complete a thought, there she was with a question, a picture, a toy, her Boo Boo Kitty.

“Nothing,” she replied somewhat sadly. “I just wanted a hug.”
My annoyance melted away. How can one refuse a request for a hug? I picked her up and gave her a good squeeze. After she received a sufficient deposit in her “hug tank” I shooed her up to her room.
I turned to my husband and asked him his opinion as to what might be going on with her.

“Well,” he answered. “The walls have ears.” He's always tossing out these cryptic frames of reference so I asked him to clarify what he exactly meant.

“There is, after all, a war going on and the economy is in the tank,” he said. “She might not be paying attention to it directly, but she knows that something's happening that's bad and that we're paying attention to it.”

It should have been obvious to me.

During times as troubled as these, war or no war, stock market boom or stock market bust, our children crave constant reassurance that everything is going to be OK. They might not know what things we grownups are worried about but they do know that we are worried. The state of the world today about scares the pants off of me and I have the perspective of a rational adult mind. I can only imagine how amplified these fears might be in the heads and hearts of our children. Kids tend to not be direct in communicating their fears so they use subtle means to garner your attention.

No matter what your take on things it is important to meet the needs of our little ones. Here are some ways you can help your children get by:

1. Offer them extra hugs and attention. Let them know that they are loved.

2. Ask them what they know about world events. You might be surprised how very perceptive and aware your children are. It is important to be aware that war is a very scary subject for children. It's OK to talk about it but don't go into a lot of detail about events. Give them reassurance that -- no matter what -- they are going to be safe and protected.

3. Limit their exposure to TV coverage. Be aware of the discussions you and your spouse are having in front of your children. Unless the topic is something your children need to be aware of then keep your conversations on sensitive subjects private.

4. Buy them Native American "Dream Catchers" and place them over their beds. Here is a link to a page with a story about the legend:
http://www.dream-catchers.org/dream-catchers-ojibwe.php

5. Take care of yourself. If your children see you as being stressed out and not in good health they will worry.

6. Offer frequent opportunities for fun, diversion activities.

And remember -- the walls have ears.